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Category Archives: Euka II

Iced buns

Star Wars Episode 4.1, The Lost Hope

I don’t get it, says Euka squinting at her Christmas present. Explain to me your hooman logic behind this one.

Micron sniffs the thing, then pokes it with a paw as if testing to see if it might be breathing.

Euka looks up at me, a slight tilt to her noggin. Lookit now, she says. The walking carpet and the Kowakian monkey-lizard* both got tennis balls.  And I open … this? 

Well, princess, I say. I think it’s perfect for you. And look at it this way, the tennis balls are for all of you. But this… I hold up her gift for a better view .. this is just for you. 

And besides, I say. They finally clearance priced the Halloween stuff at the pet store, so there’s that.

I’m a lucky dog, says Euka. Yep, envy me, canines of the world.  She walks over to Micron to take the tennis ball from him to start a game of Chase Me You Big Moose.

Don’t go too far, I call after them.  We’re going to set up a photo shoot in a few minutes.

I have a bad feeling about this, says Euka.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Yeah, not really.

Ok, here’s the scene, y’all.  We’re on the ice planet Hoth*, right?  It has to be Hoth because we’re immersed in snow here and there’s nothing to be done about that on the set.  No need to check Wookieepedia to see if or when Princess Leia ever set foot there. It doesn’t matter because this is fan fiction, people.

Sorta. There’s some fact in here, too.

So anyway, Hoth.  We messed around for a few minutes trying to scare up a white towel or blanket or something to drape over the princess’s shoulders to give her an Episode 4 Leia wardrobe.  Then realized our pale beauty can pull off the look sans the good linens. Sure, like I’d have anything white around here anyway.

Alrighty Euka, let’s get in character here. You are Princess Leia Organa, I say. Damsel in distress by all first appearances, but inside there’s a smart-mouthed tough girl. Be the princess. 

Princess Leia just looks at me.

Right then, looks like we’re there already, I say. Let’s practice some lines.

My buns are freezing, says the princess.

Cut!  I say. Um, tough girl, remember? Princess Leia would not complain about the harsh conditions on Hoth. This is the kind of chick that can kiss her own brother without shuddering. Let’s go with that, shall we?  Channel us some of that sass.

Euka closes here eyes for a moment.  She opens them as a princess. Nothing has changed. But she pops out a monologue anyway.

Aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper, says Princess Leia to Luke Skywalker. But still. Hubba.

Give me that blaster, you idiot, says Princess Leia.
Somebody has to save our skins. Into the garbage,
fly-boy!  Oh, and bring your hunky friends. 
[wink wink]

Ok, ok, I say. That was, um, good or something. But how ’bout we knock down the creepy factor a notch. Let’s try another line.

A deep breath, hold it … and …

Gov’na Armpit, growls Princess Leia, I shoulda expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when y’all brung me on board.


Someone frying bologna?
Wait, what was that? I ask. Did you just merge a cockney accent into Appalachian dialect? Heh, that’s actually pretty impressive.  Ok, my brave princess, just one more and we’ll check out the catering table.

Dibs on the jelly-filled, says Euka. 

Yeah, ok. One more after that one, I say.

Euka lowers her head to find her inner character this one final time. She then lifts her pretty face to spew this one out.

And I thought they smelled bad, pants Princess Leia. …on the outside. [coff coff graaack spit]


Nice sound effects there, princess, I say. That bit of over-emoting just brings that scene to life.  No matter that one was a Han Solo line. Oh, and that poor tauntaun. What a way to go.

Micron wants to be a tauntaun, says Euka.  He told me. 

Sure he does, I say.

He smells like one, pants Euka. …on the outside.

Well, this looks like a good stopping point. Let’s call it a day, I say. And wrap this piece of art. We’ll get you back inside where it’s warm, my pretty, pretty princess. Here, let me have those head buns … Euka!

Wow, what a surprise. Excuse me while I look for my sarcasm font.


They put pumpkin spice in everything now.




 _____________________
*Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) and About Jager

Wordless Wednesday: California Blonde Calendar Girl

Miss March (with sister Ella). And because there’s too much
Euka to handle, she doubles as Miss December.
Just don’t tell her.  I’m already dealing with the ‘tude.

Got a match?, she asks her friend. 

Not since Marilyn Monroe died, the friend answers.

___________________

We pause here just a moment and await the groans to subside.

I’d apologize for the poor taste except for two things.

It’s not my joke. It’s not like I can make up stuff like that on my own.

And I did snort-laugh the first time I heard it.

And, um … there’s something else.

I have to share this with you. Ok, not that it bothers me, but the Husband got a Marilyn Monroe calendar for Christmas. From his brother. A different brother received a Sunsets calendar.


Sunsets.

I’m not sure how to process this information.

But I will say this. The Man Cave concept is starting to look a little more real at our place.

Because I’m not gonna start my mornings with Marilyn’s perky face on my kitchen wall.

And yeah, there’s yet another thing.

I already have a calendar for the kitchen wall.

Every morning as I pad my way to the coffee maker, my sleep bleary eyes will come to rest upon puppy goodness.

2015 will be my calendar year, vows
 Cap’n Windy.
Yeah, good luck with that, says Euka,
tossing her blonde ears back.

Because I scored me a 2014 Limited Edition Puppy Calendar from Canine Companions for Independence and Eukanuba.

But unlike my Cap’n Windy winnings, no need to be jealous, y’all.
It’s ridiculously easy to get one of these way too cool calendars starring the extraordinary E litter for your own.

A gift of $25 to Canine Companions for Independence will net you one of these limited editions. And because CCI is a non-profit, your donation is tax deductible.

Just click on this link for the 2014 Limited Edition Puppy Calendar to be included with us beautiful people.  I feel prettier already just telling you about it.

The Good Stuff Jar Project

The 2013 Good “Stuff” Jar.
Censored for sensitive readers.*
You know who you are.

Food Lady! Micron yells from the kitchen. Bodine has his litter box feet on the counter again! 

[random scurrying sounds] And he’s taking a bite out of every apple in the fruit bowl!, he says.

Ok, I say. Thanks, buddy.

Who does that anyway? says Micron. Every apple? Like the next one will taste different?

Don’t worry about it, Mikey, I say. I’ll take care of it in a minute.

Hey, that’s a sign of insanity, right? Micron says, walking into the family room. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting …hey, are you ok, Food Lady? You haven’t hollered at the cat even once today.

Yeah, I’m good. I say to my card carryin’ certified pet therapy dog.

Micron jumps onto the sofa to snuggle and I stroke his noggin until he closes his eyes.

I’m just getting a little melancholy. I say.

Micron’s eyes pop back open and he looks at me with brows furrowed into worry lines. You’re getting a what? Nuh uh. Is that really a good idea, Food Lady? he asks. I mean, don’t you always tell people that you’re just four paws away from being an animal hoarder? Even a little dog needs a lot of attention and chew bones and they still poop a lot and stuff. 

Well, you know how moody I get around the holiday season, I say.  And …what? Little dog? Oh, I get it. A little Melon Collie. [eye roll] That’s an old joke, my love.

I wasn’t joking, says Micron, closing his eyes again. So anyway isn’t it time to open the Good “Stuff” Jar? That might cheer you up a little. 
   
Micron, you sweet thing, I say. You’re smarter than I look. That’s a stellar idea and I’m glad you reminded me of it.

Read my lips, says Micron.
 No more puppies!

My sensitive dog remembers that I started the Good “Stuff” Jar at the end of last year while immersed in my annual post-holiday funkitude.  And it’s a lofty goal, this project. What with keeping up with the burden of writing down the occasional happy events that we encounter throughout our days. That, and the challenge of remembering to do it.

It’s oh too easy to plod along our daily paths and never give another thought to the bright moments once their shine has faded. And next thing you know, you’re going about with heavy sighs and enigmatic lamentations of cantaloupes and Lassies.

So this year on December 31 we’ll open the Good “Stuff” Jar in celebration of a year well spent. I imagine a bright ray of light to escape the mouth of this former sauerkraut jar. Perhaps some angelic singing as we lefty loosie the lid of the thing. Yeah, I know, I know. Best not to set the bar too high lest we face the disappointment of reality mingled with vague sauerkraut fumes. But really, at the very least, I think there’s a smile or two awaiting us in there.

I’m counting on it, actually.

And with the end of year looming on the horizon of our Gregorian calendar, this seems a fine time to take a look back at our last few months of dog inspired adventures here on Raising a Super Dog.

This post aglow before you is the final of 2013. I’ve challenged myself with a minimum of two posts weekly, with Story Sunday and Wordless Wednesday being the feature stories. Although sorely tempted to slack off, I can stand (yeah, I’m sitting) before you and say that I never wavered even once.  I totally met this goal and then took it out for drinks.  I’m jazzed to tell you that we slapped out a full 110 blog posts intended for your entertainment.

And I’ve enjoyed sharing every story and photo with you, my faithful readers and fans of all things Dog. Thanks for hanging with us on our life’s journey with our canine heartmates Euka, Micron and Jager.  Y’all are great.

I spent some time going through our dog adventures this morning, which turned out to be a mood lifter for my weary soul. The Blog Archive in the panel to your right will take you through each story month by month. I invite you to lose yourself there for a while, should you find yourself wanting to wax nostalgic for the dogs’ derring-do of yore. But as ain’t nobody got time for that, allow me to throw you a bone, so to speak, and I’ll highlight my personal favorites of 2013.

Donna’s Top 20 of 2013

Euka II

Um, Food Lady? Don’t look
behind you.
(Micron is playing yellow
submarine in a mud bank. True story)

We started things off in January with our New Year Goals for Miss Euka.  At a three months old, we had a lot on our plate to get this little girl ready for her Advanced Training at Canine Companions for Independence.  And we’re almost there, people. Less than five months to go now, can you believe it?

After starting life as a celebrity, being on the Eukanuba livestream for her first eight weeks of life, Euka uses her star status to rub hocks with other well known folk.  We had the pleasure of meeting Temple Grandin and author Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess).  Photo ops included, of course. So we got proof that I didn’t just make this stuff up.

The extraordinary E litter celebrated their first birthday in September. We got the Ohio E’s back together for a photo shoot.  Cute, cute, cute. And cute.  There’s four of them, you know.

Aaargh, this puppy! Not the best of timing, yet a true adventure trying to get a Halloween photo of this puppy before she went off to The Spa at CCI. It’s a Then this happened kinda story.

The Mighty Micron

In Pet-it Jury Trial Micron serves as judge and jury. And witness, counsel and defendant, too. But not well. Something about jack of all trades but master of none.

They’re all guilty. Don’t ask.

I’m thwarted in a yet another warm and fuzzy photo session with the mighty Micron at That ain’t chocolate. Never turn your back on a water dog.

Micron masters the art of being a literacy tutor at Tutelage in relaxation and Time flies at the library.  He also falls in love with a pair of boots, so there’s that.

Not to be outdone by Euka’s infamy, Micron stars in his own short Indie film of Mutiny of the Bounty.  That title is not a typo. The paper towels fought back.

We ran Micron through a series of canine cognition games with Dognition. Prior to each session, I tried to guess his results. That didn’t work out well for me. His three stories are Hereand Here, and final profile results are Here.  Spoiler alert: the goober dog is more clever than I gave him credit for. Again, don’t turn your back on him.

What is this word fixation? And why are you looking at me and not Micron? A special project was in the works at Fishin’ balm.  And it’s not lowering my standards, people. It’s dialing down to realistic goals, that’s all.

Jager

I’m kinda of a big deal.

We give Jager his moment in the spotlight with Master of the Hunt Part I and Part II. I’d intended to stir up some intrigue with an unsolved mystery in Part I, but really it’s more just a curiosity of the style of an itch that can’t be scratched.

More profound thoughts from our little knobby headed friend is found at Jager’s dog nose wisdom.

Volunteer Puppy Raising

Five things I stopped doing was a popular post of the past and so was put out as a rerun in May. This takes you into the life of a volunteer puppy raiser just a bit.

Then for a slightly darker look, we gotcha some cautionary tales on Not all sunshine and rainbows.  Poop walking is involved here.

And the random stuff

Let the wookiee win.

I won a new dog in a raffle! Kind of. Well, I won it.  But it’s not really a dog. She just looks like one. Pretty much, anyway. Introducing Cap’n Windy on Raffle me this.  Pfft to the naysayers. Everybody was just jealous of my good fortune.

This one just makes me laugh. It’s the last photo in the post that gets you, actually. You may not see it coming at Pareidolia has landed.

Wait … is that twenty one? Gads, I’m not good with numbers. I’ve counted three or four times and come up with a different number of links each time. See, I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve tallied these up.

But no matter. I hope you find something enjoyable on the ride.

Any other favorites from you all? Please do let me know. Feedback is the fuel that keeps a blogger’s life blood pumping, after all.

All of us at Raising a Super Dog wish you and yours a blessed, fortuitous and Happy New Year.  One that is filled with adventures and stories to share. So glad you’re hanging out with us for ours.

___________________________
*The Good Shit Jar. Because good shit happens too, you know.  Easy to make your own for this upcoming year.  You need an empty jar, some scraps of paper and a pen well secured so nobody walks off with the damned thing again. Depressive state of mind optional.

Christmas is all around

The Christmas spirit is all around, right?  

Well, it is indeed. And quite literally for the two yeller dogs. All around their noggins.

I admit with some self admonishment that I never thought about tossing a wreath about a dog’s wither regions as a photo prop.  But once I saw Tippi’s holiday photo (a pup in training for Canine Companions for Independence), I was struck with inspiration. 
You ever get all excited and take your dog to the backyard and attempt to stuff their head through a decorated wreath?  Yeah, me neither. Turns out it’s not a natural thing that gets well processed in the dog brain.  
With a little practice, some serious what-the-heck-is-this-thing sniffing and copious dog cookies, we did it, though.  
And here’s these two beautiful creatures to wish you all a Merry Christmas season and Happy New Year. 

Gimme da cookie!   Micron at 4 years old.
Euka, 15 months

A Furry Christmas to all