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Category Archives: Micron

Wordless Wednesday: Some are more equal than others

Right, that’s a fire extinguisher. In my kitchen.
It’s not a reflection of my cooking skills. But I
 appreciate that you were thinking that.
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”  George Orwell, Animal Farm

Bodine, benevolent ruler of Sword House, has commandeered the dog bed. A silent and bloodless takeover of prime real estate, which has left Micron to rest his weary bulk upon the kitchen tile.

To the left are three steps that lead down to the back door. Micron’s head is pretty much hanging there in a passive-aggressive statement of his discontent.

I’m suffering here, Bodine, says Micron. Takin’ one for the team.

Yep, says Bodine. [purr]





It’s snow fun surviving a blizzard

It’s like taking photos of a polar bear on an iceberg. 

It’s snow fun surviving a blizzard 

“There was little warning that it would be so bad — that an elderly woman would burn her furniture to keep warm, that some species of birds would be nearly killed off in Ohio.  

The temperature was in the 40s the day before, and then, just like that, vehicles were stranded in snowdrifts 15 feet deep. Diesel fuel froze, so trucks couldn’t move even on clear roads. An Ohio National Guard general started out for work in the morning and he couldn’t get home for seven days.” (excerpt from Blizzard of 1978, The Columbus Dispatch)
 

We all seem to have that someone in our family – parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle – from that generation who lived through the Great Depression. Who comes to mind for you?  You don’t even need to hear their childhood stories to know this is true, right? They have the tell-tale habits of a survivor.  Behaviors like food squirreling and insisting on using produce days past its prime when we would just toss those limp carrots away.  They repair even the simplest of items to make it last as long as possible. Not everything goes out of style in their opinion.  This leisure suit is still perfectly fine, thank you very much, Grandpa says as he adjusts his ultra-wide necktie before Sunday Mass. Oh, did you know a plaid shirt is ok with pin-striped pants if both are in the green family? True story, but in hindsight that might have just been personal fashion sense, not a survival behavior.  My father-in-law could not be swayed otherwise, which is fine. It was just another one of the things that made him so charming, the sweet guy.

Even experiencing something as short-lived as horrendous weather can bring out subtle survivor skills in us. Nearly 34 years after Ohio’s Blizzard of  ’78, I still can’t scan a kitchen cupboard without estimating how many days of food we have in there. In a pinch those spaghetti noodles could be matched with the can of stewed tomatoes.  Things like that float through my head like wisps of smoke. I can’t not do it. We may not eat in the fancy style we’ve become accustomed to, I think, but it beats melting snow for sustenance.

The walk to the school bus was about a 9.5 on the Suck Scale.

If you read October’s ghost story post Ghosts in the Walls, this image on the left may ring a bell. The red arrow points to the foundation of the remains of my childhood home. The yellow arrow is the end of the gravel lane that meets the nearest road, a quarter mile away.

The Blizzard of ’78 was a unique weather phenomena for Ohio, holding the record for the most powerful winter storm in the history of our fine Midwestern state.

“About two or three times per winter, a low-pressure system from Mexico heads north, and at the same time, an Alberta clipper from Canada heads south. Virtually every time that happens, they miss each other. “But during the Blizzard of ’78, the storms kind of collided and they intensified each other into one massive storm,” said Jeffrey Rogers, a geography professor at Ohio State University.  “We don’t know what the odds are, but it must be extremely low,” Rogers said. “It certainly is an event that hasn’t happened since then.””  (excerpt from Blizzard of 1978, The Columbus Dispatch)
 

So yeah, it was weird and it was sudden. Considering the super low temps and snowdrifts measuring twice the height of cars, we had us some drama dropped into our cozy laps. We, all of Ohio, found ourselves caught totally unprepared of what we were to awake to that January morning. And the story of my family is that we were trapped far from our country road in a small farming community. Our gravel lane to freedom held possession of the highest of the snow drifts and was impassable by car or foot. So after a few days of canned soup, we packed in winter gear to trek across the frozen cornfield to meet a family friend. The country road finally snowplowed, Richard was able to meet us at the end of the lane to drive us to the IGA in town.

Pretty harsh stuff, right? Oh, there’s more y’all. My sister and I were teenagers. My brother was elementary school age. And my mom?  Mom was ready to throttle the lot of us.  Why can’t we have the Red Cross do a helicopter food drop instead, I whined as we broke new trail going back to the farmhouse. We’re PEOPLE, not beasts of burden. You know, we could all DIE out here in this field and NOBODY would find our bodies for mo. . . WAAAAH!  I trip over a frozen furrow, performing a gymnastic face plant at the same time as tossing my personal load of hard earned groceries into the snow. Mom looks back and sighs in that way she did back then and, without breaking her stride, keeps on going. And my sister was pretty much yin to my yang at this point. Any other time at each other’s throats, we now shared a common bond in that snow-covered field and so joined our forces together to create a beautiful harmony of self-centered teenage discontent and promises of weekly therapy sessions just to overcome this inconceivable hardship of our young lives.

A massive run-on sentence, that last one. But an awesome one, right?

When we all look back on difficult times as these, let’s give a special remembrance to mothers. Maybe even a special award to moms of teenage girls. Something like “Thanks for not killing us, Mom, even though you probably could have done it and gotten away with it for a few weeks at least until spring thaw.”  I don’t know. Would that even fit on a trophy?

So we got us some snow this week

Go fig. Turns out the local weather forecast was pretty spot on and we were hit with more snow on one short day than we saw all last winter. Those hours of heavy snowfall and heavy winds had all of us children of the Great Blizzard generation going on about our memories of that one historical winter storm.

And yet, it still surprises me a little to see people who live within a mile of the local Kroger go into OMG mode to hit the shelves like they’ve got an underground bunker to restock.  Hey, you know what, neighbors? I think to myself.  This ain’t nuthin’.  You wanna snowstorm? I’ll tell you about a storm. And anyway, you could walk here from your house if it came down to it.  But that’s just survivor talk. I don’t want to walk it either. But you know, I could. hahahahasnort. Just messing with y’all. We’ll be right here eating egg noodles with Pace Picante before that happens.

But in between these hard moments of survival, it’s a fine distraction to open the backdoor and let the dogs out to do their thing in the white wonder of it all.  Euka has now finally discovered that magic experience that is playing in deep snow.  So sit back, grab a warm beverage and scroll down to enjoy the innocence of dogs playing in the wintry weather. 

Because I should go now. I need to call my mom.

Euka is mastering the Look of Innocence.  She’s getting pretty good at it, too.
 What’s in your mouth now, Euka? I will ask.  Muthin’, she mumbles back.

Muthin in that mouth, you say?
 
Our houseguest for the week, COC Kel.
 
Kel and Micron set aside their mission to ignore each other for a
hearty game of Gimme Back My Friggin’ Stick.
Micron communes with the snow. He sort of made a snow angel, but
like a high pitched whistle, you’d have to be a dog to get it.
Euka keeps an assured clear distance from the big dogs to avoid
getting steamrollered. But, she insists, she is the Chaser.
She wants you to know that.
(Check out Raising a Super Dog’s FaceBook page for even more snow photos at Euka’s Snow Album.)
 
Are you a Blizzard of ’78 survivor too?   Share your harrowing tales of bravery in the face of snowdoom in the comments.
 
 

Adaptation

I’m checking email on the laptop when Micron walks into the kitchen, drains the water bowl like a swamp monster and then flomps to the floor. A heavy canine sigh as he looks up at me with those soft brown eyes.

Mikey, my love, I say. You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world upon your withers. Wassup, dude?

She’s hogging the dog bed, he mumbles. All I have is this cold, hard floor [soft whine].

Right, big guy. The cool, smooth floor. Which has always been your first choice. I remind him. I’ve never seen you even sniff that dog bed, never mind lay on it.  And hey, by the way, “she” is has a name. It’s Euka and she’ll be here a while you know. So, Micron honey, fess up. What’s really the problem here?

He closes his eyes and sighs again. She, that Euka dog, keeps biting my Tail of Wondrous Beauty. Well, that and my ears and feet and I don’t know how, but She Euka somehow got my tongue and . . .

I stop typing on the laptop and turn to look at him. Oh, Micron, you’ve been such a tolerant guy these past three weeks. You know what? I’ve been answering the same two questions since Euka showed up here. Everyone wants to know how she’s doing with her training and such. And then folk want to know how you’re adapting with this big change in your life, too.

Really? He lifts his head. The hint of a doggie smile on his face. And you tell them I’m suffering, right? That I’m a martyr for the sake of a shoe eating little carpet stainer? That I must taste like chicken because my tender flesh is being gnawed upon by a She piranha with four legs? How my life’s purpose has been diminished to the bleak tasks of merely eating and sleeping while I await the sunrise just to do it over again? Is that what you tell them?  His tail starts to wag.

Micron, you are such a goober, I say. What I tell everyone is that Euka is doing just wonderful with her training and how she’s actually not eating shoes and staining the carpet. And then I say how well the two of you are getting along now.  You’ve been so very sweet about sharing toys and playing chase in the backyard.  I’m thinking that once this puppy chewing phase has passed, that the two of you will be pretty good pals.  

And now that I think about it, I have seen the two of you share that dog bed, too.  I pull up a photo and turn the laptop to show him. See, Euka even scootched her head off to give you room, the little sweet thing. 

What!? Micron blinks hard and looks at me. You have got to be kidding me.

Yeah, I’m just yankin’ your chain, I laugh. But c’mon, it is pretty funny. And a little pathetic too, I guess.  But there’s more here. I was able to get some shots of you two playing nicely together.  Look, I think you’ll like these. 

See, like this one. The symbolism of kinship. You and Euka are breaking bread together. Get it? Bread?  It’s a gingerbread man! hahaha . . .

Micron looks at me. Uh huh, what else ya got?

. . . hahaha [snort]. Ok, big guy, I continue. Here’s a couple of you two sharing another toy. Well ok, not a toy really. It seems you two have developed an allergy to the plethora of doggie toys I trip over in the kitchen. You’re playing Keep Away with a scrap of newspaper. It was kind of a short lived game.

Oh yeah! says Micron. That was a good game. I won, too. She Euka will never get it now. I made sure of that [slurp], guaranteed.

Sure, it all comes out ok in the end, doesn’t it, I say. So to speak. Hey, look at this one. Euka is all airborne coming at you. 

Airborne, Microns says. Right, just like a bad cold.

So whaddya think now, Mikey? I ask. I rub his head and scratch that magic place behind his ears. Life isn’t really all so bleak now, is it? You still have your Therapy Dog work and now you get to play with a housemate that at least has a sense of humor. Unlike other canine [cough jager] housemates. And folk still care so much about you that they want to know how you’re faring.

And you, Micron my love, have a huge responsibility as a big furry brother to Euka. She needs to learn so much over these next months. And you’re just the guy to be a tutor to this young student. 

You’re right! I have like worldly experience and stuff. And here’s exactly where we need to start, says Micron looking at the next photo on the screen. She Euka needs to work on her poker face. Just look at this!  It’s like you asked what we’re up to and I shrug and say ‘nuthin much’.  But the kid has a guilty look on her mug. She totally gives us away. He stands up and looks out into the family room.

Oh hey, She Euka, c’mere wll ya? calls Micron. School’s now in session, kiddo.

What? No, we’re not doing anything [smack gulp]

Wordless Wednesday: Caption This #8

So I’m looking at the shots I took while Euka and Micron were doing that weird labrador mouth play game and this one appears on the the screen.

I dunno, I get the feeling that some covert information was being shared here. Like Micron is telling the kid No, don’t look at her! Just act normal and listen up . . .

What?!  Telling her what?!  Surely they’re not plotting against the Food Lady.

Are they?

What do you think Micron is telling the new kid?  If you can read those dog lips, drop me a comment so I can get a heads up on things, won’t you?

Four point mutt

Where does this persistent optimism come from anyway? It’s not like I’m bolstered by past successes. I’m not even an unnaturally upbeat kinda chick. Yet there we went into the backyard all confident – the pup, the big goober dog and me – accompanied by the Canon and two sets of reindeer antlers.  

Gonna get me some cute holiday photos for the CCI card exchange, said that child’s voice of naivete inside my head. Oh yeah, this will be so awesome.

And if awesome involves repeated lamentations of aargh! quit knocking them off! then yeah, we got yer awesome right here.

Because if one wasn’t shaking the antler things off his or her own noggin, he or she was pulling them off the other’s.  Then Euka would take off in a full gallop of puppy happiness with the merry sound of jingle bells coming from the head boppers in her mouth.

Oh sure, I expected this. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve put head boppers on a dog, you know. But I really want this to work out so I can get those holiday shots.

I set the antlers on the lawn, then pause to putz around with the camera settings. Then this.

Look closer. Do you see the antlers held oh-so-gently in that puppy maw? The look of daring in those brown eyes? It’s like she knows.

We’ll start with the mighty Micron. He’s been through this fun before, so he’s experienced enough to realize the sooner we get this party started, the sooner he gets the good-boy treat.

But Euka says Incoming! She leaps, Micron blocks. With one meaty, baseball mitt paw, he insists she keep her teeth to herself.

Minutes later, still only one dog is wearing antlers. Micron is savvy enough to recognize that I’m wearing down, which he knows will be followed next by seriously lowered standards. So with a hopeful tip of the head, Micron helps Euka to snatch off those blasted antlers. And she will. Or sever his carotid. Odds are pretty even here.

Alright, that’s it.  Wiping dog spit and mud off the antlers, it’s time to change what I had in mind. No, not defeat. That’s crazy talk. Instead I need to call in for back-up.  What are you doing right now? I ask the Husband. Nothing, right? He sees the look in my eyes, sighs and turns off the lawn mower to follow me back to the dogs.

Ok, I want antlers on both dogs, I explain as if he’s not been through this exercise with me before. And the puppy will be right here in front of Micron. See, like right between his front legs. Exactly like that. And both of them looking at the camera. Here’s a dog cookie. Got it? What? Don’t look at me like that! Ugh, all right, get the puppy in a Sit and put the stupid antlers on her.

No, they’re looking at you and the dog biscuit! Fine. At least turn Euka so her body is facing me.

Well, that’s not any better.  

At this point, we’re like a badly choreographed dance. The husband’s moving back and forth to plop the head boppers on a moving dog, then stepping quickly out of the frame. I’m circling the three of them, clicking the shutter with that one last shred of hope hanging by a loose thread to my fragile sanity.

And hey! This one’s kinda cute.

And with my fresh, but healthier, lowered standards we go with that shot. And the Plan B shots of close ups of the two of them individually.

Euka II

The Mighty Micron

And that’ll do. Dog cookies all around for a job well done. A glass of chilled white for the photographer and her assistant.

Now, where are the Santa hats? Oh, Jager …I got a dog cookie for you …