The cat is chattering at the birds outside.
Hey, batta batta, chatters Bodine. Sa-wing batta!
Or something like that.
Ok, I guess it’s more like the ah-ah-ah-ah of a feline tommy gun. Get it? Tommy gun? Tom cat? hahahhaha.
But you understand what I’m on about, right? I mean, if you’ve ever heard an inside cat talking smack to the song birds outside the window, you know they do emit some kind of chattery clicking sound.
And I wonder how persuasive such chatter would be in the wilds of the backyard.
Cat: Hey. You.
Sparrow: [looks around] Who me?
Cat: Yeah, you buddy. C’mon over here. I wanna talk wif you for a minnit.
Sparrow: Oh, I don’t think I’m supposed to talk to you. Ma said not to listen to, well, you know. Cats like you.
Cat: I’m gonna pretend that doesn’t hurt me right here. [taps a paw to his chest]. Naw, it’s ok. I got an extra daddy long-legs, see, and it’s too much for me to eat. Come closer and I’ll show it to you.
Sparrow: You do? That’s so nice of you. Is it really fresh? Cuz I like ’em to still be squirmy a little. Yeah? Well, ok …
Bodine!, I yell. Leave that nice little bird alone and come in the kitchen. It’s time for your meds.
Oh for … , says Bodine. Food Lady, you’re blowing my street cred here.
He gives one last, long look at the tiny bird before jumping down from the windowsill.
Tomorrow, says Bodine.
Just a note that Bodine is a one hunnerd percent indoor cat. It’s for his protection, of course.
And for the preservation of the song bird population in our neighborhood. Doing our part to extend those avian lifespans.
Wish the neighbors held the same philosophy.