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Monthly Archives: June 2014

Wordless Wednesday: It be raining. Again.

You know, if I’ve learned anything in this long-lived career in the corporate workplace, it’s the importance of being agile. To be flexible. How to embrace change.

Because no matter how carefully you may have planned, things are going to shift on you.

Or wait. No.

No, that’s just life.

So I was thinking that I’d take a weekly photo of Holly. At least until she reached a stage where her growth was not so profound in change. Dunno, maybe five or six months.

And then I figured easy ’nuff to take the photos in the same spot in the yard.

And then yesterday it rained. Stormed, actually. Thunder and lightning and should we be hunkering in the basement stuff going on out there.

Ah, but as many summer storms, it passed within minutes. Leaving us with a light rain shower.

And a tight schedule of taking Holly’s fourteen week photo.

So here we are with a misty rain causing the blackboard paint to run and the photographer’s assistant quickly running out of dog treats (do note The Husband’s shoes, bottom right), me fussing about the precious Canon in the misty rain, and Holly’s tail attempting to underline her name.

So take that, Life.  We can work around all your drama and plot twists.

We give you Holly at fourteen weeks.  Good lord, look at the legs on this pup, willya?

Summer Solstice & Rooster Heads


As we cross the threshold from a lovely Ohio spring to welcome in the Summer Solstice, I’ll refrain from reminding everyone that it’s downhill from here.

Well, that didn’t go well, now did it? By not reminding you that we just enjoyed the longest day of the year, I actually kinda did. Remind you, that is. You know, every day from here until the Winter Solstice in December will be shorter and shorter.

And shorter.

Enough with the downer talk on this gorgeous Ohio summer day. In an attempt at atonement, I offer you a delightful photo of Miss Holly enjoying a moment in the afternoon sunshine. On the longest day of the year. We had time.

Ok, you say. That’s nice. But do you think you might take her leash off for a prettier puppy photo? Isn’t this is your backyard?

Oh dear astute reader, you are correct as usual. But you see, we had a minor mishap. Some puppy misbehavior and similar goings-on. And I find it easier to catch a trailing leash than the elusive puppy tail as it races by.

Because of stuff like this.

must … find … love …


Oh, for the love of nature, you cry. Just look at those roots! That’s still in the shape of the seedling container. You just planted those poor things mere minutes ago, didn’t you? Those flowers should have been in the soil …

I know, I know.  At least a month ago. You see, I have a good reason for waiting so long to plant my flower bed.  Because, well …

1. I hate gardening.

Sure, hate’s a strong word. Maybe that’s a little harsh. I’ll try again.

1. I really dislike gardening.
2. I’d rather be in a dentist’s chair.

So I put it off. And by mid-June, the back flower bed still looked like the terrain on Frodo’s trek to Mordor. An expanse of lost hope and broken dreams. Until I finally motivated myself to plant some sticks of color into the ground.

brookgreen gardens

Still, I say you’ve missed the point here, Dear Reader. That clostridium didn’t simply jump out of

the barren earth by itself in an attempt to find a more loving home.

Clostridium? you say. Um, that’s a bacteria.

Huh. Ok then. Colostrum? Coelacanth? Wait no, that’s a fish that was extinct until it wasn’t anymore. Shoot, I don’t know. It’s a Latin word for chicken head or something. I remember seeing it on the plastic tag thing with the plants.

Wait.

Here ya go.  I planted a bunch of these.

Ah, you say. Might you be referring to the Celosia? The cockscomb?

Right. That’s what I said.

Anyway, you’ve completely derailed my train of thought there, Amtrak.

In preparation for the tender young thing that is Holly, we did a sweet job of puppy proofing the house. We eliminated all dangers – real and imagined – and put any valuables out of easy reach of inquisitive puppy maws.

On the inside of the house.

I admit I didn’t really consider the allure of rooster head flowers in the back garden bed.

In the mind of a young pup, what’s the little girl to think? One day it’s a bleak expanse of dirt and the next all these fluffy headed things appear.

A moment of exploration, a sniff in attempt at identification.

Friend or foe? asks the puppy noggin.

Toy, answers the gray matter. Grab it and run! Run like the wind, Little One!

But hurry, the puppy brain continues. Because there’s a bunch of them. And the Food Lady wants to play too.

And that, people, is why Holly is wearing a leash in my backyard.

Wordless Wednesday: Holly at Thirteen Weeks

We interrupt a period of puppy goofiness, to bring you Holly and her Serious Face.

This is her being serious.

Thirteen weeks old now. She’s growing into those ears quite nicely, isn’t she?

Now she needs to schedule a growth spurt to catch up with that foot long tail of hers.

Ninja Strike

We’re ready for ya!

Alrighty, I sing-song. Who’s ready for their breakfast? Are my dogs Hungry?

A powerful word, Hungry. It’s in the same attention getting genre as Getcher Food Bowl, Cookie, and that sound kibble makes when it hits the metal pan.

I come up the basement steps with three food bowls in delicate balance.

Dogs, I say. Assume your usual positions and we’ll …

COW ‘N BOOGER! yells Holly. NINJA STRIKE!

Wha? I say. The bowls tilt, spilling a few kibble, as Holly bangs her head into the stack in my hands.

Holly! I say. Then add her middle name because she’s in trouble. Don’t! 

Didn’t see me coming, didya? says Holly.

Well, I say. That’s a given. What the heck are you thinking, you little stinker?

Not a stinker, says Holly. I’m a ninja. I am the Night. The cat said you wouldn’t know what a ninja was and it’d be so easy to get ya. He was right, huh?  He told if I jumped you with all the food bowls, I could score Jager’s, too.

Grrr, says Jager.

Hey, here’s an idea, I say, scooping the escapee nuggets back into a bowl. You want to play some games today? Yeah? Ok, here, I’ll give you half your breakfast …

Wait, says Holly. I just remembered I don’t like games. Just put the bowl down, Food Lady. I won’t ninja strike you again. Promise.


No, let me finish, Holly, I say. Let’s give you half now and the other half you’ll win back when we play.

I’m in!, says Micron.

Not talking to you, big guy, I say. This is just for the puppy. I’m gonna take her outside to play some “games.” I wink at him so he gets the secret code. 

Set down the coffee mug before you go out, says Micron. Caffeine and all. Your face is doing that weird tic thing again.

Game On

Bag o’goodness nuggets

So what’s a girl to do with a half bag of puppy kibble?

Oh, just what I should have done before the little missy jumped on me in her valiant, yet unsuccessful, attempt to improve the dull breakfast routine.

I appreciate a food motivated puppy. I really do. Because I truly don’t have the skill set to train a dog otherwise. I need the help of these power nuggets.

And now that our Miss Holly has been around for the last twelve weeks discovering the wonders of dog’s green earth, she’s certainly mature enough in mind and body to understand the basics. Plus some.

Gimme something hard, challenges Holly. Enuf with the Sits already.

Can I get up now? How about now?
Now? No? Ok, how about now?

Sure, ok, I say. You’re absolutely right. Here’s a tough one. Holly, Down!

Whatever, she yawns. There. Happy? She sits back up.

No, Holly, I say. Down! Then don’t move until you’re Released.

I have no idea what that even means, says Holly.

Actually, I say. Yeah, you do. Self-control, my beauty. You can do this. Because here’s the best part. Just stay there and think happy thoughts for a sec. I’m just going to step over here while you imagine the next yummy kibble.

And Holly, I say. Here!

Heck yeah! I know this one too! Crunchy kibble, tiny kibble, yummy kibble, she sings. I’m coming for ya!


There’s a crunchy with my name on it!

Well, I gotta say this is going smoothly so far. We’ve used positive reinforcement to work on those basic commands – Sit, Down, Here, Shake, Side, Heel – and now ready to introduce a real challenge for a food motivated puppy.

A kibble is going all temptation style
on that stick.

In the spirit of Nothing for Free, we want Holly to understand that she cannot just grab whatever food her tingling puppy senses tell her is available.

This is beyond the pleasantry of good manners, of course. All puppies learning the ways of a career as an assistance dog must learn to focus. Rewarding with kibble is a great start.

But there’s more to it than that. And we’re about to bump it up a notch.

Um, Food Lady, says Holly. Can I do that Down thing again?

You can do this, too, I say. It’s not as hard as you think it is. You can look at the treat if you want. But then I want you to look at me. 

After I eat it? she asks.

You know the answer to that, I say. I’m putting the treat here and all you have to do is just pretend it’s not there.  This one isn’t yours. But I have another one that is. Ooh, check it out. Blink! It’s now invisible to you, right? 

As one would expect, we make it through a few No’s and Don’ts just to enforce that not only do I really mean it, but I’m also paying attention. Our girl is nearly clever enough to try to oldest trick in the book of looketh over there just to distract me.

But hey, I’m onto her tricks.

Well, mostly. Except for the ninja thing, I guess. Those guys are pretty stealthy.

But could be worse, I guess.

Could be pirates instead.

I wanna be a helper dog when I grow up.
Or the Dread Pirate Roberts. 

Wordless Wednesday: Caption This #14

Holy cow, it’s been forever since we’ve offered up a Caption This.

So we’ll start this off with a You’re Welcome when you see that I didn’t pun y’all with saying fur-ever.
And I have to tell you this, too. I was sorely tempted to use the saying Donkey’s Years after having just read this phrase in a Stephen King story, of all places.
I haven’t heard anyone say that in, well … you know.  Turns out that Donkey’s Years is an eggcorn from Donkey’s Ears.  Like, it’s been as long as a donkey’s ears.
But we don’t want to suggest a negative body image to a lovely pup who has yet to grow into her own air flappers, now do we?
Of course not, people.
Still, this expression on Holly’s adorable mug is worthy of a caption, I think.
Maybe …

Holly:  The cat called me a What?!

Or add the photo below for a two-liner:

Me:    Holly! Whacha rolling around in your mouth now?
Holly: [mmph] muffin. See?

Or:

Holly: Hey, Food Lady! D’ya like seafood?
Me:    Oh Holly, that joke’s even older than I …
Holly: Lookit!  Hahahahaha[snort]

And now let’s open it up to more ideas.  Drop us a comment with your clever dialogical thoughts.