Category Archives: Euka II

May the Fourth

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Donna Black-Sword

Micron Solo, Jabba and Princess Euka.

I can’t find my tomato stakes, my lamentation for this sunny May afternoon.

Then what’s that you’re using? asks My Favorite Kid.

Bamboo kebab skewer thingies I found in the kitchen junk drawer, I say. That’ll do for now. Maybe.

I’ve got some rebar rods in the garage if you want them, says The Husband.

Which I will be sure to keep in mind when I plant Godzilla tomatoes, I say. I only bought cherry tomato plants for the patio garden this time. Tokyo is safe for now. So thanks anyway, but I think I’ll hang tight and see if I can’t find something more appropriate than cooking utensils and bridge making equipment.

I turn my attention to the herb container.

Lessee, gotcha some dill, sage,
thyme and copious amounts of
dog hair. Don’t dare ask me
what my secret ingredient is.
I’ll never tell.

By the way, I planted some jalapenos for you, too. I say to the kid. I was gonna add cilantro to the patio garden, but it insists on acting like a weed. Last time it took over everything.

What herbs are you planting then? he asks.

The basics. Some rosemary, parsley, sweet basil, I say. And sage.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme? he asks. Sounds familiar.

And it does, right? Makes one think of Simon and Garfunkel.

Which then reminds me of Paul Simon and Carrie Fisher.

Carrie Fisher? Best known, perhaps, of her Princess Leia role in Star Wars and how she totally rocked that breakfast bun hairdo.

And holy cow, did you know? Today is May 4th.

The fourth of May, y’all.

As in … May the Fourth be with You.

And the universe just became smaller. Everything is connected, don’t you see?

My patio herb garden has a one degree separation from Harrison Ford.

I’m doing the math here, Food Lady, says
Euka. By my calculations, you’re
completely delusional.

Piece of my heart

Posted on April 28, 2014 by Donna Black-Sword

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How old was the puppy when you got him? asked the young man.

Yaxley was eight weeks old when he arrived from California, answered The Husband. Yes? Next question?

What are you training him to do? asks another audience member.

The Husband fields this one, too. We introduce thirty commands, mostly the basics you’d want to teach any dog. Plus a few that will be used when Yax goes to Advanced Training. And we spend a lot of time socializing him. Any other questions? We have time for one more.

We’re just about to wrap up this presentation to this Bowling Green Chapter of the Delta Chi Fraternity. The members are considering offering a donation to Canine Companions for Independence. With Yaxley, our third puppy with CCI, to impress these fellas we’re working this gig the best we can.

And another hand goes up.

Yes? You in the back, says The Husband.

Is it true, asks this future business leader of the free world. That you replaced your son with a dog?

Ah, there ya go. We got us a smarty pants in our midst.

The Favorite Kid and Yaxley

I see where this is going, of course. This was when the Favorite Kid was Chapter President of his fraternity, which made him the target of his fellow brothers. All in good spirited jest, of course. Well, at least while we were there. Who knows what went on while the boys were making their collegiate memories over those four years.

What happens at the Delta Chi House, stays at the house.

Please.

As with his previous adventures in the scouts, I insist on only hearing the happy stuff. Like Snow White with a song bird on her index finger, I don’t want to know anything about poison apples or whistling short people with pick axes coming and going from the premises.

So, did we replace the kid with a dog or what?

With a step back and sidelong glance by my other half, I can tell this ball has been slammed into my court.

Ok, I start to say. I will say that it is true that we waited until the Kid started college before we got involved in volunteer puppy raising. And sure, I guess it’s true as well, that we gave the dog his room.

But! I continued, finger raised. Our Favorite Kid is irreplaceable.

Wow, that sounds lame. It did then and even now I struggle to think of a response that doesn’t sound like I’m a little too vigorous in my denial.

I mean it, though. I really do. You can’t replace a kid like mine with a dog, no matter how awesome the canine is.

It’s possible to add things to life. It’s not always a swap of one for another.

As it is with Miss Euka.

We’ve received our next puppy assignment from Canine Companions for Independence. The timing of Euka’s matriculation into Advanced Training is within days of when Puppy Number Five will be showing up to rock our world.

When asked how we can we possibly give these puppies up after raising them for a year and a half, we quip something like … oh, with a lot of pride and large margarita. But then we also take on another puppy which give us a distraction.

And all that is pretty much on the mark. Pride, drinking in moderation and a new, furry responsibility to fill our thoughts.

But replace one puppy with another?

Impossible.

I don’t know where this bit of profundity started. Or who wrote it. But it beats to the tune of a puppy raiser’s heart.

It came to me that every time I say good-bye to a dog

they take a piece of my heart with them.

And every new dog who comes into my life

gifts me with a piece of their heart.

If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog

and I will become as generous and loving as they are.

And that’s it, right?

Euka will leave us, but is taking our love with her. We filled her up with it, to the brim and then some. And she’ll carry that with her along her journey to share.

And our next puppy will come into our home carrying the love she received from her breeder caretaker.

We’re not losing anything here. We’re not less.

Oh no, people. We will have so much more. Our lives are enriched with each little puppy life we meet.

And I can’t wait. Stay tuned for the announcement of our newest golden child.

Spoiler alert: Oh for … I have to tell you. Make room in your hearts for Holly of the Eukanuba sponsored Hero Litter. The petite purple-collared beauty should hit Ohio soil somewheres around May 18, give or take.

Photo courtesy of Chris Kittredge Photography

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The ears have it

Posted on April 21, 2014 by Donna Black-Sword

Mini Micron.
Pre-photo session.

Hey Micron! says Euka. You big goldengoober! Lookit!

Look at what, Puppy Piddler? asks Micron, annoyed. He doesn’t look up from chewing a stick. It’s a good stick. Fresh from the mulch pile.

‘Member the time you smashburgered me into the ground? says Euka.

Which time? snickers Micron.

You know. That one time, says Euka. When Food Lady was gonna take me to the grocery so I could work on my fan base? And then she said I couldn’t go because you made me all muddy?

Just on one side, says Micron. If you could manage to keep a good Heel, nobody would even see. Why?

Why? asks Euka. Why? Because this is YOU! And I’m gonna smear YOU into the ground for once!

What’s that now? Finding myself amind yet another round of sibling smack talk, I admit to blocking most of this out. It’s all grr-grr this and rowl-rowl that most of the time, anyway. But the mention of somebody getting pounded gets my notice.

Euka, I say. What are you … No! Drop! That’s for the photos!

See it? She has the mini Micron in her maw. And we’ve seen that look in her eye before. Nothing good is going to happen next, we know that, right?

Oh just another day trying to take photos of the dogs with bunny ears. In the spirit of the season, it’s as natural as dying eggs and eating Peeps.

What’s that you say? You don’t put bunny ears on your dog? Well, I don’t eat Peeps, so there’s that.

I walked into this exercise fully expectant of the usual strong words and minor mayhem. That’s part of the annual tradition, after all.

I retrieve the stuffed dog from Euka with a more that was really necessary amount of fuss and position it carefully for the photo setup. Then I call Euka back and retrieve it from her a second time. A quick attempt at brushing off the leaves and twigs before lowering my standards and we get some nice images of Micron with his wee doppleganger.

Only about twelve frames this time to get a couple with his eyes open. Not bad.

Let’s pause here a moment, shall we? Take a moment to enjoy the warmth of Micron’s easy going and open smile. This is a dog that knows how to make the most of any moment in life.

Every day is a golden day for this big guy. It’s all good, says Micron.

Next up – the polar bear princess.

You can almost smell the wood burning, hear the cogs clicking. This chick’s noggin is thinking about something.

Oh sure, she’ll keep that Stay because that’s her training.

It’s a matter of being smarter than the puppy. Because I’m sure as heck not faster.

I’ll need to grab that treasured little mini-Micron before the Release command is given. But not just for me and because I’d like to have the thing around for another Easter.

I’m thinking of Micron.

It seems the big fellow is feeling a little protective of his body double.

What stuffed dog?

________________________________

This year’s bunny ear shoot did indeed go smoother than last year’s, we’re all happy here to report. Last spring, our Euka Bunny was not the mature girl she is today. Photos, and a tidy explanation of why Easter Sunday is so hard to schedule, is at It’s the Euka Bunny.

And Micron goes passive aggressive, as only he can, in his rejection of wearing bunny ears in That ain’t chocolate.

Good times, y’all.

Somebody call James Lipton

Posted on April 14, 2014 by Donna Black-Sword

Even my back side is my good side.
Can’t go wrong here.

What’s with the index cards, Food Lady? asks Euka. Aren’t you supposed to be writing about me on my website? It is Sunday, you know. Oh hey, here’s my best side. Take a picture. Heh, who am I kidding. All my sides are my best side.

Ah, Euka, glad you’re here, I say, setting down my pen. I was just about to call you. You are correct, my love. It’s indeed your turn for this week’s Story Sunday on the dog blog. Which, I need to remind you again, isn’t just your website, Princess Golden Hair. You need to share the glory with the other four leggers that live here.

Not, says Euka. Fair.

Anyway, kiddo, I say. I’ve been thinking about how you’re starting dog college next month and since you’ve been kind of a celebrity …

Kind of? Euka tosses her ears back. Hello? I’ve been on television!

Right. I say. But only because we hooked up the laptop to the plasma screen. Still, it was pretty awesome to watch you over those first eight weeks of your little, furry life. I remember watching from your first day in the world -you and your extraordinary E littermates- when you all were livestreamed by Eukanuba.* You critters worked it hard to build your fan base over those two months in California.

Then we welcomed your little polar bear self at our place here in Ohio (The Heart of America!) and we’ve been telling your stories to your fierce and loyal followers for the last year and a half. All our adventures together and now … just a sec. Darn it, hold on. I have something in my eye.

I pause to dab at my eyes. Blow my nose. And now, Euka, we have only five weeks left. [sniffle] So I was thinking, let’s do an interview before you leave here to start dog college.

An interview? asks Euka. You mean when we talk about me and nothing else? I’m in. You may start.

Childhood Star, Euka II, in her early days.
Really early. This was the day she opened her eyes.
[photo courtesy of Chris Kittredge Photography]

Sure. I say. Let’s do this all fancy like. We’ll pretend that you’re … I mean since you’re such a big deal we’ll go at this like a James Lipton interview.

Who? asks Euka.

He interviews movie stars, I say.

Oh, she says. Him. Well, carry on.

Ok, we’ll do his ten question thingy, I say. Maybe a couple of slight modifications to fit your unique circumstance of being a puppy on her way to Advanced Training at Canine Companions for Independence. Ready?

Interview with Euka II, child star and puppy-in-training for Canine Companions for Independence

1. What is your favorite word?

Easy! It’s Euka. No really. Don’t even roll your eyes. I love my name.

Because whenever I hear it I’m pretty sure something cool will be happening next. Like a Let’s Go or we’re going outside or there’s a cookie coming my way or you’re going to give me a job to do.

And I like that you’re not talking to Micron. For once.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Same word. But I don’t like it when you use Don’t as my middle name. That’s a fun suck. You need to know that.

Look into my eyes. Good. Now say
my name. That’s it. Now you may
give me a cookie.

3. What turns you on?

Long walks in the rain. I can rock the wash & wear look. Right? Unlike [cough] somebody else I know. By the way, Food Lady, did you mean for your hair to look like that on purpose today?

What? What’d I say?

4. What turns you off?

When Bodine the Cat breaks protocol and nips me after only two licks. He supposed to allow three licks to his face. He’s kinda a jerk sometimes.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

Keep the easy ones comin’, Food Lady.

Nothing better than the sound of kibble hitting a metal food pan. It’s like, oh I dunno, like the sound of a bell ringing. I could listen to that all day, every day.

Just hearing it makes my tummy all rumbly.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

I like my dinner bell. Yours, not so much. You know what I mean, right? What do you call it again?

You know, it’s that thing on the ceiling that beeps when dinner’s ready. It’s awful loud.

So anyway, I’m thinking you might want to order pizza tonight or something.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Hahahaha. I like that word you say when Bodine the Cat trips you on the stairs because he says his food bowl is getting low and you haven’t noticed and if another day like this goes by Bodine says he’ll fade away into nothing and then he’ll never pick up any cute chicks because skeletons don’t get any action and even worse he says he won’t have enough energy to get that little bird that’s been making fun of him through the kitchen window because that little sucker has it coming if just somebody would leave the back door open for a minute he could take care of that bit of business.

Bodine, Benevolent Overlord of Sword House
He’s on the dining room table because I won’t let
him lick his nethers on the kitchen counter.

But anyway you told me I couldn’t say that word or I’d have to sleep in the litterbox room.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I like my job as a puppy and I think I’m really good at it. But since I’m going to dog college next month, I think I’ll major in something like Skilled Companion Dog or Service Dog. Maybe Facility Dog because you get to work with a lot of different people. I heard that for a career as a Hearing Dog you get to go to California for a Masters Degree. That sounds pretty awesome too.

But if none of that works out, maybe Quality Control at a farm where they grow bacon.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Marine Biologist. Because sharks ain’t right. I mean, just look at ’em crossways and they’re all ima gonna eat you.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

“Well done, my little polar bear. You made a difference. Your room is ready at the bacon farm”

_______________________________________

*Eukanuba Ustream of the Canine Companions Hero Litter. Five more weeks to watch Euka’s brothers and sisters of the CCI H Litter. These furries share the same mom, Taya. Catch ’em while you still can.

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It’s just dog nature

Posted on April 7, 2014 by Donna Black-Sword

Holy mother of dog. Please tell me
that’s not what you’re wearing to
the dinner, says Micron. Don’t make
me call your mom.

Are we doing anything Saturday night? I glance up to see The Husband holding his iPhone to his chest.

I dunno, I say, Just a sec. I fire up my Droid for a quick look at the social calendar.

Nope, looks clear, I say. That task completed, I go back to my laptop and refocus on pinning vintage dog photos on Pinterest (Dogs of Yore board).

Huh. Well, this will be interesting, he says.

Whazzat? I look up in alarm. Did I just agree to something? Darn it, Pinterest.

Looks like the boss can’t attend a dinner to accept an award on behalf of the business, says The Husband. So he asked us to go in his place.

It’s a semi-formal dinner, he continues. For the 445th Airlift Wing of the Air Force. I guess we won a community partner award. Yeah so apparently this dinner is a pretty big deal and we’ll be seated at the front table. Supposed to be a senator there and …

Oh, do stop, I say. You had me a semi-formal.

Lookit, I’m not a fancy girl.

Never a slave to fashion, instead I’m the chick who walks into a one o’clock meeting at work with a poppy seed between two front teeth and a diet Coke stain on my blouse. Honestly, it doesn’t even occur to me to take a quick look in a mirror until after I start pontificating budgets with my colleagues.

So now I’m expected to eat food in front of important and powerful people. Ok, I think, I can do this thing. And then a brief moment of panic as I realize that all of my food has to make it to my mouth. No retrieving mixed veggies from the cleavage whilst in the presence of these fine folk.

That’s right, people. The dog has
more fashion sense than I do.

Wait, lemme think – when was the last time I even wore a dress?

Right, the Favorite Kid’s college graduation. In 2012. And before that?

I think it was his high school graduation.

True story.

So I suppose my style could be described as comfortable. And by comfortable, I mean clothes that don’t hurt when I sit down. I’m totally ok with jeans and dirt on the heels of my boots. You can take the girl away from the farm, but you can’t take the farm gear away from … well, you know it goes. This chick likes her denim.

Ugh. So nothing to do about this fancy affair but fake being sick. No, I mean buy a dress, of course. A nice dress, too. Which requires the embellishments of pantyhose, tortuous shoes and that modern version of the corset – Spanx. This free dinner is getting rather expensive. I force myself to not think about pajamas and pizza and the season premiere of Game of Thrones.

At the department store, The Husband serves as moral support as I select yet another kind of support in the manner of feminine shapewear.

That looks uncomfortable, says he, wincing a little.

Yeppers, I say. Being arm candy comes at a steep price.

But later, as I get ready for the evening, a pleasant surprise. I find the chastigious* body armor isn’t that bad. I can breathe. I can sit. I can do both at the same time. This goes against everything I’ve heard about Spanx wear.

I do a sanity check with some friends.

Oh my. Such stories of the relocation of vital organs, a singular ability to exhale without the pleasure of inhaling, fits of claustrophobia and dire warnings to plan well ahead for any bathroom breaks. I’m to heed the first inkling of a tinkling. Or else.

It becomes obvious I’m doing this all wrong. You see, being such a weenie about pain, I chose the Medium torture level of this retro-medieval product when I’m clearly in need of Extreme. It would seem I have a case of Spanxiety.

I’ll just pause here until the groans subside. Oh hey, I think I’ll grab some cheesecake. Be right back.

Yeah so anyway.

The harder I try to be at my best, the clumsier I get. I do so hate that, too. It’s oh so easy to allow a increased sense of self-consciousness to feel like the spotlight is on my every misstep.

But I suppose that’s just human nature, isn’t it?

It’s just dog nature

We should take a cue from our canine friends. Dogs don’t know when they’re put on the spot. No test anxiety gripping the neurons in those dog noggins to skew results. And they couldn’t care less about their physical appearance. Proof? How many times have you removed an unsightly eye booger from your dog, then leaned back and said, there ya go. Gotcha all prettified again, Euka. And they look at you with an expression that says Cookie?

Anyway, you know what I mean.

Last week, along with fellow volunteer puppy raisers for Canine Companions for Independence, we had the chance to put our young charges through some training challenges.

The professional trainers would instruct and observe as we performed the tasks before us. So how did our pups handle this high level scrutiny?

Like they’re at any other training session with us, that’s how. The pups simply want to know what will get a Good Dog from their handler. And what doesn’t.

Euka and her littermate, Everett, were all over this thing, taking on each training station as if they were ready to step right into the Advanced Training program.

C’mon, people. Try to give me something hard to do, says Euka, ignoring the dog cookie on the carpet.

As Euka’s puppy raiser, I didn’t worry much about the pool noodle touching the noggin. Our little honey badger isn’t bothered by too much of this kind of thing.

Yeah, mostly I worried that she’d try to grab and eat it.

Everett one upped his sister with wearing no less than two pool noodles. While in a Down.

And remote control cars buzzing about? No sweat off my nose pad, says Euka.

Y’all should know the little guy on the right did a stellar job as well.

Novel surfaces can be a problem for some pups. Sidewalk grates, gravel and non-carpeted areas might encourage a pup to attempt a side step to keep their tender toes on familiar territory.

Which helps to explain the concept behind this next station. Colorful plastic balls in a wading pool come close to the top of the Novel Object list.

Everett accepts this experience with nary a negative thought. He shows off this casual attitude with another Down.

Well done, our young pups.

Oh, but not so young anymore, are they? Eighteen months old now, our extraordinary E litter. What do you think – are they ready? We have only a few weeks left with these amazing creatures.

Almost time for the matriculation ceremony, a formal affair scheduled for May 16, which is included with the Graduation celebration of new assistance dog teams.

Make no mistake, folks. This is big deal stuff now.

I might even wear a dress.

__________________________________
*Chastigious. An adjective meaning something to do with chastity. As in “when wearing Spanx, all business is closed until further notice”. And I made up the word, so there’s that.

Go. Do. Be Dog.

Category Archives: Euka II

May the Fourth

Piece of my heart

The ears have it

Somebody call James Lipton